Saturday, December 16, 2006

What's going on with me

For the last 2 weeks I have been working 2 part time jobs, one at 123 Academy, an ESL school for Korean kids, and one as a care-taker for the Rama Lotus yoga centre. The latter opportunity I acquired recently; I like cleaning and it's nice to be surrounded by people who are focused on healing a lot (I otherwise don't make such opportunities readily). The best part of the job is that I get unlimited free yoga. Although I intended to do yoga on six of the days this week, I only managed to get out three times. I've really been struggling with self-discipline a lot lately. Particularly, today I rushed out the door to get to a 10:45 class and arrived at 10:48 so I did an about-face and back at home I am pushing myself to conquer feeling of defeat.

I feel like I'm boycotting Christmas this year. I'm not going home as I usually do this year, and I haven't purchased a single present or even wrote a card. Bah humbug ! Holidays often make me feel depressed because I get the sense that I don't have as close relationships with people as everyone else does. I know I'm completely responsible for that; sometimes it's hard to face.

On a brighter note, I'm going to a Mummers party this evening. A couple of years ago I spent my winter in St. John's, Newfoundland where this tradition is popular, but I didn't get to participate in it (I heard the city has "banned" it for security reasons).

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